Purgatory? Oh my.
#hallmark
How Sarah Got Her Wings
Ohhhh wow. Get ready for this one. Seriously. Scene opens with Sarah, our protagonist giving homeless people blankets at a shelter. One of them tells her he lost his dog. She goes outside to find the dog. Pulls dog out from under a car and is hit by a bus. Ends up in purgatory. Except Hallmark’s version of purgatory is a white room, with a bunch of white people, all wearing white. Seriously Hallmark?
Dog came with her too. One positive here, St Peter has been replaced by a woman who goes on a rant about “People who have such antiquated concepts about gender and angels.” Hah!
Sarah’s name isn’t on the list. Fiona the dog goes right through the gates, because you know "all dogs go to heaven". Good to know. I wonder about Rufus sometimes.
Sarah then lists all the reasons why she should go to heaven, including that she is single. Who knew? All single people go to heaven? I am here for that.
Apparently they give out cookies and use iphones in heaven. Not androids? Seriously? We all know iphones are the work of Satan. #plannedobsolescence Steve Jobs is up there literally in this movie. He made a heaven app. She has to go back to earth and try to do good things to get into heaven.
They send her back to earth, she has till Christmas Eve (countdown on her apple watch), and she ends up at an ex boyfriends Jordan’s apartment. He freaks out, she cleans (because it relaxes her. Oy)
Bonus is that it is filmed in Portland, OR. I LOVE Portland and #memories.
He awakes to a clean apartment, they go gallivant around Portland. She convinces him he isn’t having nervous breakdown by telling him “Jordan I am the one fighting for the salvation of my soul here.” Obvi the writing is stellar.
Jordan falls in love with her, ends up standing up Amanda who he has been dating on Christmas Eve. He kisses Sarah, she goes back to purgatory, he is left with empty arms, and Sarah still isn’t on the list.
She gets another chance, returns a year later this time only Amanda can see her, and she tries to convince Amanda to take Jordan back. Of course she doesn’t tell Amanda that Jordan is her ex. Of course Amanda finds out. Her trust in angels is shattered. Amanda will not give Jordan another try. Until….
Sarah learns about “Angels Kiss” aka possession. She can take over another’s body zombie style and make them do whatever she wants. So she takes over Jordan’s friend Stu, gets him to orchestrate Amanda and Jordan reuniting, where else?
The homeless shelter that is a part of the church where we saw Amanda volunteering at the beginning. They finally tell the truth together and get back together. Its amazing what honest communication can do.
Sarah takes over a homeless mans body (unironically enough the one whose dogs she was responsible for murdering) to tell Jordan goodbye one last time. BTW this possession is without consent.
She returns to purgatory, HALLELUJAH her name is on the list. Why? Because she had to love somebody. She loved Jordan. Finally.
She is offered the gates to heaven, and tells the angel Daphne that she wants to live, to feel heartbreak, love, and pain. Daphne who apparently can control time, sends her back to the moment when she almost got hit by a bus.
Except this time “Hank” rescues her. Then kisses her almost immediately. Without asking first. Apparently when you save someone’s life you don’t need consent? Not weird/wrong at all Hallmark. The end.
B- for sheer imagination. And zombie possession. Holiday movies so white scale 5.
Also consent is good Hallmark! Take note!
My overall thoughts:
How Sarah Got Her Wings
Ohhhh wow. Get ready for this one. Seriously. Scene opens with Sarah, our protagonist giving homeless people blankets at a shelter. One of them tells her he lost his dog. She goes outside to find the dog. Pulls dog out from under a car and is hit by a bus. Ends up in purgatory. Except Hallmark’s version of purgatory is a white room, with a bunch of white people, all wearing white. Seriously Hallmark?
Dog came with her too. One positive here, St Peter has been replaced by a woman who goes on a rant about “People who have such antiquated concepts about gender and angels.” Hah!
Sarah’s name isn’t on the list. Fiona the dog goes right through the gates, because you know "all dogs go to heaven". Good to know. I wonder about Rufus sometimes.
Sarah then lists all the reasons why she should go to heaven, including that she is single. Who knew? All single people go to heaven? I am here for that.
Apparently they give out cookies and use iphones in heaven. Not androids? Seriously? We all know iphones are the work of Satan. #plannedobsolescence Steve Jobs is up there literally in this movie. He made a heaven app. She has to go back to earth and try to do good things to get into heaven.
They send her back to earth, she has till Christmas Eve (countdown on her apple watch), and she ends up at an ex boyfriends Jordan’s apartment. He freaks out, she cleans (because it relaxes her. Oy)
Bonus is that it is filmed in Portland, OR. I LOVE Portland and #memories.
He awakes to a clean apartment, they go gallivant around Portland. She convinces him he isn’t having nervous breakdown by telling him “Jordan I am the one fighting for the salvation of my soul here.” Obvi the writing is stellar.
Jordan falls in love with her, ends up standing up Amanda who he has been dating on Christmas Eve. He kisses Sarah, she goes back to purgatory, he is left with empty arms, and Sarah still isn’t on the list.
She gets another chance, returns a year later this time only Amanda can see her, and she tries to convince Amanda to take Jordan back. Of course she doesn’t tell Amanda that Jordan is her ex. Of course Amanda finds out. Her trust in angels is shattered. Amanda will not give Jordan another try. Until….
Sarah learns about “Angels Kiss” aka possession. She can take over another’s body zombie style and make them do whatever she wants. So she takes over Jordan’s friend Stu, gets him to orchestrate Amanda and Jordan reuniting, where else?
The homeless shelter that is a part of the church where we saw Amanda volunteering at the beginning. They finally tell the truth together and get back together. Its amazing what honest communication can do.
Sarah takes over a homeless mans body (unironically enough the one whose dogs she was responsible for murdering) to tell Jordan goodbye one last time. BTW this possession is without consent.
She returns to purgatory, HALLELUJAH her name is on the list. Why? Because she had to love somebody. She loved Jordan. Finally.
She is offered the gates to heaven, and tells the angel Daphne that she wants to live, to feel heartbreak, love, and pain. Daphne who apparently can control time, sends her back to the moment when she almost got hit by a bus.
Except this time “Hank” rescues her. Then kisses her almost immediately. Without asking first. Apparently when you save someone’s life you don’t need consent? Not weird/wrong at all Hallmark. The end.
B- for sheer imagination. And zombie possession. Holiday movies so white scale 5.
Also consent is good Hallmark! Take note!
My overall thoughts:
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