All Aboard the Christmas Cruise!

#amazonprime

A Christmas Cruise


Vivica Fox is a workaholic. Like sooooooo many women in these movies. She is a writer who works at a magazine or newspaper- not quite sure. What I am sure about is that everyone at the company is younger than her, including her boss.

Her fun single friend takes her out for drinks, where they are hit on by two men who say things like this: “TTYL.” People take note- this should only be said IRL ironically. It was not in this movie.

Her friend has tickets for a Christmas cruise. On this cruise you go to Christmas Island that is only open for one month per year and is described as “ A themed resort that has nightclubs, surfing, diving, and lots of single guys. All Christmas themed.” If that doesn’t sell her I don’t know what will.

Her mother calls her every damn day and tells her she wishes she was bringing a partner home for Christmas. Lay off mom!

They go to get on the boat, which I am pretty sure is the Queen Mary. Someone should tell them it doesn’t really head out to sea anymore.

On the boat she meets the cruise director. Falls for him. He flirts with her when he is off the clock. Not sure that’s how boat boundaries work bucko.

Her friend meets a guy, falls in love.

They all do cutesy things like karaoke, wander around the island taking in epic views, and spontaneously burst into “Joy to the World” acapella. Like you do on Christmas Island. Didn’t Bing Crosby sing a song about Christmas Island?

Cruise Director tries to get her to stay. She tells him she can be on vacation forever. She goes back to work, is promoted to editor. She immediately quits. Her boss “Are you going after that guy?” Her “I am an intelligent, talented, sophisticated woman. If any man wants to be with me he’s gonna have to come and get me. And I am going to finally write my book. That’s what I am going to do.” You go!

Also weird cameo from Nick Viall the Bachelor. Turns out he really can’t act. Upon research it turns out it was his first movie debut. Don’t quite your day job buddy. Unless this is your day job, if so then good for you for following your passion.

Cruise Director returns, tells her “If you’re not going to be there with me, then I don’t want to be on the sea.” They kiss. And live happily ever after.

She brings him home for Christmas, her mother is happy. So happy. Sigh.

C

Christmas movies so white scale 5

Predictability scale 9

My thoughts: