Can you resist the magic of these movies?

#netflix

You Can’t Fight Christmas

Here we have the Chesterton hotel.

It opens with Leslie Chase of Chase designs setting up Christmas in the lobby. JJ James, the owner of the hotel approaches her and her helpers and it is a contest to see how many times they can say “The Chesterton” in the opening five minutes.

JJ says his grandson is coming in to “make some changes” and Leslie says she does not like the sound of that. Like almost every church person almost everywhere.

We meet Regina, who is at the hotel mourning a breakup. She bumps into a ladder which Leslie is on, and Leslie falls, to be caught by Edmund. Nice to meet you!

PSA: there is a lot of women falling off ladders in Christmas movies. Moral of this story? Women shouldn't be on ladders.

Edmund has charisma and of course there is instant chemistry with him and Leslie. Except he didn’t come alone, no he brought his business partner Millicent who wants more than a business relationship with him. She brought a power point to prove it.

Scene: Millicent is in line to check in at the hotel in front of Regina and is huffing and puffing at having to wait, Regina tries to make small chat, then we get this sweet dialog:

Millicent “Let me just stop you right there. Listen, I don’t do small talk with strangers, I don’t do close proximity chit chat, and I definitely don’t do Christmas.” Regina’s reply under her breath “I don’t do bitches.” Priceless. We literally never see Regina again after this.

Millicent puts the high in high strung. She could benefit from some anxiety meds, maybe cbd gummies, and/or a meditation retreat.

Millicent & Edmund are bringing in some high end investors.

Millicent “We need to impress so that those with the dough don’t say no.” I wonder if she is available to be my personal fundraising consultant?

Edmund has a moment at the bar with Leslie. He doesn’t do Christmas because he caught mommy kissing Santa Claus. Except Santa was his neighbor. Then no more Christmas. Until Leslie convinces him to play the keyboard while she sings.

He does possibly the worst fake piano playing I have ever seen.

Reasons you can tell this is not on Hallmark: they sleep together.

Then as she is leaving his room she sees his plan for the investors, shocker alert: he wants to change the hotel. She is mad. Millicent shows the power point to Edmund and tells him he should marry her. It takes awhile but he agrees.

Leslie comes up with a plan to thwart Millicent (send her to the spa!). While Millicent is getting the Chesterton treatment Leslie presents her own plan to investors. They go for it. Edmund says hey thanks, but I am going to marry Millicent. Then he leaves. Leslie orchestrates the star being lit at the top of the Christmas tree on Christmas eve, but no one is lighting the star in her heart.

Until Edmund shows back up and tells her he was a fool. They live happily ever after.

 Stay off that ladder!!!

B-

Holiday movies so white scale 1

Predictability scale 8.7

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7281472/

#hallmark

The Rooftop Christmas Tree

This movie follows Sara. Sara is a lawyer who got burned out and has returned home to her small town. Does this sound familiar? Because the burned out lawyer plot has been used before.

Sara grew up in the kind of town that inspires her to say pithy sayings like “This is home. This is where I learned to put my faith in people.”

Sara’s neighbor Dale across the street is a lonely older man. He puts a Christmas tree on his roof every year since his family left him. The town has changed and people no longer think it is quaint. He goes to jail for it every year as it is against building codes.

Sara likes to run. As she is running she meets annoying public prosecutor John. John flirts and is rude to her at the same time. So of course that is the recipe for chemistry.

Sara becomes Dales’s lawyer, her and John argue in the court. The judge decides to have them both solve it together. Because that is a thing that would happen.

They both work on the case/share deep issues as characters in these movies are wont to do over late night work sessions.

They find a workaround for the tree, but then city workers take it down! Calamity! They sweet talk the judge who is their friend into issuing them a building permit. They put the tree back up. Mind you Dale hasn’t asked them to do any of this. They are “helping him” but at no point does Dale want them to do this.

Once they have the tree back up they ask Dale to come out and he is non plussed. Until…. his long lost son shows up. Turns out when his ex took his son, he whispered into his ear “Look for the tree” and that is why he has put is on his roof for twenty years. No telling how his son was supposed to find him the other 11 months of the year, but maybe that is why it took 20 years.

Yay his son found him. Yay they fell in love.

This movie was pretty bad. Also Dale is a person of color, everyone else is white. There was no analysis of the white saviorism going on, and how Sara and John were a bit out of line. Maybe that will happen in part 2.

D+

Holiday movies so white scale 9

Predictability scale 9.9

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5485456/

This is my face while I was watching it.