Is Santa an Alien?

#Hallmark

The Santa Incident

This movie answers the question “Is Santa an alien?”

It begins with a military person in a plane with guns (maybe a bomber?)  shooting down Santa in his sleigh in the sky because they think Santa is an alien. 

Flash forward to the next morning when two kids, Sophia & Daniel are wandering the docks (like kids do) and find Santa laying on train tracks. They save his life heroically pulling him off the tracks. 

Their mom is a nurse, so naturally they see her when Santa is brought to the hospital. Naturally she becomes Santa’s nurse.

Santa miraculously heals. Like he does.

There are two Homeland security officers hot on Santa’s tail. They want to take him down. Well really only one of them, the other one kind of likes Santa.

When the Homeland Security officers have a moment about Santa here is the dialog:

“That old guy did not make me happy, that old guy ruined my career.” #deepthoughts

Santa doesn’t have a place to stay, he is waiting for elves to rescue him So obvi he stays with the nurse & her kids. 

Santa wanders around town doing dishes at restaurants in like two minutes and rubbing magic on aggressive dogs. 

He then discovers with the kids their “playground” which is an abandoned factory. Santa repurposes it as a toy factory. How does he make toys? Gathers a bunch of rubbish, and rubs his hands together real fast. He enlists the kids to help at the factory as well. They make a lot of toys and laugh a lot.

Santa wants to hook up their mom/nurse with the local sheriff, but ever since the kids Dad walked out she isn’t interested in dating.

Convo between mom & Santa:

Santa “The toys are the easy gifts.” 

Mom “What are the easy ones? 

Santa “Love, wonder.” That’ll preach.

The Homeland Security guys are chasing Santa all around town and putting bugs in the house. Also creepily following Santa around is the pilot who shot him down, he is feeling remorse and not wanting to ruin Christmas.

FINALLY the elves show up. They are tracking Santa using a Buzz Lightyear type toy. Seriously? Why wouldn’t they give him an apple watch with GPS? That’s in the sequel.

Homeland Security arrest Santa, makes him take them to the toy workshop/abandoned factory. Warning: epiphany coming. It wouldn’t be a holiday movie without one. Except the real epiphany doesn’t come until January 6^th. #churchhumor

I don’t know if it is fair to say the acting in this movie is bad because the writing is so bad, its not like the actors had a lot to work with.

The elves come to the rescue and “nice” the police officers outside with a ball of sparkly glitter, it is basically like giving them ecstasy. They throw teddies bears at the police officers, and the officers descend upon the stuffed animals like they are the epiphany they were waiting for. 

Everyone has an epiphany, the reindeer come, and all is well. Santa got on the road by the 24^th. Also the mom and police officer fell in love. Because almost all holiday movies need a wee bit or a lot of romance. How did they fall in love? Santa left them with a gift. Mistletoe. Who knew that was all that was needed?

It ends with homeland security officer questioning his life choices. I could make a joke here, but I won't.

C+

Holiday Movies so White Scale 10

Predictability Scale 9

Rufus's Thoughts: