Transylvania 6-5000 AKA another Jeff Goldblum movie
Fun fact: I have been to Transylvania and Frankenstein and Dracula are not there. But cheesy stereotypes are. And amazing scenery. And these fabulous pastries called kolach. Here I am holding this sugary deliciousness in Transylvania.
Back to the movie. Ed & Jeff head to a castle/hotel in Transylvania to follow the lead. They knock on the door and Kramer answers it! But before he lets them in he does a weird things with a doll, acting like it was a child. A child who was boxing the air. Like I said, weird.
Jeffrey Jones (who I can't see without thinking of Howard the Duck) is the mayor and castle owner. Carol Cane plays a maid with codependency issues. As you can see it has QUITE the cast of characters.
The phone at the hotel is shaped like the alien that came out of Sigourney Weaver.
Turns out the mayor and a couple of nefarious doctors are trying to cover up that Frankenstein lives! Super shocking I know.
Hijinks occur with Jeff chasing after an American woman in town and Ed having all the supernatural experiences. Including a scantily clad Geena Davis who plays a vampire in love with him. Remember Elvira? She is going for that look.
#nailedit
Then Jeff is on a picnic with the American woman and her daughter disappears. Daughter sees Frankenstein as does Ed, Frankenstein kidnaps the little girl and then plays poker with her. Ed is kidnapped by a wolf man.
Just give up on this movie making any sort of sense.
Ed is brought back to a dungeon, Dr asks why the wolf man was outside (Because apparently he was supposed to stay in all the time???). Wolf man who up to that point was only speaking by growling, replies "I had to take a whiz." Apparently they ran out of toilet paper long before COVID 19.
Choice quote from the wolf man when fighting with Jeff Goldblum "I've got you now you communist." Funny thing is I don't remember Jeff playing any communist party songs when I saw him at a jazz club in LA, but maybe they were in disguise.
Also I have a new insult. Fart butt. Definitely using that in a sermon.
Everyone has adventures trying to catch everyone, then Frankenstein abducts the little girl (again) and heads to town. There is a wine festival in town. Lets just say Frankenstein walking into town holding the little girl is a buzzkill.
Little girl is fine, but villagers decide to burn him on a pyre. Typical.
Then Jeff Goldblum uses reason to tell them it is not Frankenstein, but a local villager. Everyone sees reason. Because Jeff Goldblum is all it takes. Maybe he should have a talk with our Commander in Chief.
Wolfman isn't actually a wolf but he has a medical condition that makes him grow a lot of hair. I wonder if he knows about bear week in P-town.
Everything ends sort of happily ever after.
Ed Begley Jr tells them to buy electric cars.
The End.
PS One of those things didn't happen.
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