The most terrible movie so far

 PSA- this blog is not going to tell you what movies you should watch. This blog is for the no good-terrible-horrible holiday movies. They are the most fun to write about.

Hometown Holiday- bad acting, terrible dialogue, a snoozeville film on Netflix.

This film centers on Ryan- an entertainment lawyer from LA. Imagine all the stereotypes about this guy, they are true in this case.

Then we have Krista who lives in Rust Creek. Krista has dated everyone in town and longs for a partner. 

Ryans sister conveniently lives in Rust Creek too. Some guy from Rust Creek who sings a terrible song (my opinion) goes viral, Ryan goes there to sign him. Viral music guy wants no part of it. 

Ryans sister tells him to ditch the suit and put on a flannel, they are going to a wedding, because thats how they do it in Rust Creek. 

He follows directions and meets Krista. They have awkward stilted conversation and dancing,  he tells her he isn't single. She goes home and pines for him.

Ryan returns to LA not having signed viral music guy (who ends up hooking up with Krista's sister at the end of the movie). Ryan catches his gf cheating on him. They break up. His gf just wanted him to help her on her path to fame.

Also apparently Ryan told Krista he was a rancher because he was so tired of everyone treating him different because of his job. Good. Lord.

Ryan eventually returns to Rust Creek and starts hanging out with Krista again. She finds out he lied to her and it is no big deal. Literally forgives him right away. Tells her sister the next day she is in love. They have hung out once. Slow your roll sister.

Ryans sister who is very pregnant gives him the family ring because Krista is "the one". Apparently everyone is on the fast track in Rust Creek.  

Dialogue has such moving moments as :

"You spend your whole life reaching towards a goal, and when you finally reach it you realize the goal needs to shift. " #deepthoughts

Ryan helps Krista decorate for Christmas. She uncovers a hideous hella white Mrs. Claus, tells him it is vintage (I call BS on that) and says she could never find the matching Santa. 

His reply? "You can’t have Mrs. Claus without Santa. That’s a crime against Christmas." 

News flash Ryan. Yes you can. It's 2020. Mrs Claus could be perfectly happy single. Or with another Mrs. Claus. Or Mx. Claus. 

Did you throw up in your mouth yet from this horrible dialogue? Just wait, it gets worse.

Krista in a vulnerable moment tells Ryan she has returned to her first love. Acting. She has been cast in the Christmas Carol in Rust Creek. Chances are she didn't have much competition.

Ryan projects his issues all over her, calls her attention seeking and just using him for his (supposed) fame, and leaves town. REALLLLLLY emotionally mature there bucko. 

His sister FaceTimes him, "Here is your nephew!" He is like what. 

Real talk, if they really were that close wouldn't she have told him when she was in labor? Not had a baby, come home from the hospital, put on holiday garb, then FaceTimed him at work? Seriously?

She named him Ryan. I wouldn't have. Adult Ryan says "He is clearly the best Ryan out of all of us." duh.

Sis gives him some advice "You like her when she was just a country girl. She liked you when you were just a rancher. Somewhere in that mess of emotions are just two people who are scared that they won't be loved for who they really are."  Sure. Thats why he lied at first. 

He flies to Rust Creek. 

ALSO PSA DONT DO CLOSEUPS OF WINTER FLOWERS IF THEY ARE MADE OF FABRIC. It does not help the film.

Ryan doesn't go the simple route, he takes a Santa Suit, wears it and crashes the town play. Because it's all about you Ryan.

He legit changes the ending of the play. Sigh.

You know how this ends. He takes off the beard and hat, thereby traumatizing any kids in the audience that still believe in Santa, and proposes to her. 

Her reply? "Well I wouldn't want Santa to be without Mrs. Claus." Barf. 

Last line of the movie: 

"Her: Well you might not be a rancher, but for a lawyer you fit right in. Him: Oh you like lawyers now. Her: I love this lawyer."

1/10 Also pretty damn white. Some actors of color in small roles.